Unlocking the Hidden Meanings of “Contentious” in Scripture: A Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth
This week, while reading scripture, I came across the word
“Contentious”.
To my surprise, the word contentious was mostly accompanied by the word “woman”.
This word kept calling my attention. I like word studies, but before I even look into it, I asked the Lord what is this about?
Why is being mentioned only for women?
After seeing it three times….I thought I am praying this one…I surely don’t want to be a contentious wife!
I prayed but without saying it I am thinking again why it’s only mentioned for women. I read some more…and BAM! I found it ladies ? prayer answered.
Memorize it “Proverbs 26:21”.
“As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife.”
I am hallelujah!! ?
Ladies, we are still mentioned 4 times out of five ?.
I’m injecting a little humor here.
If you do some study on this word contentious, you will identify the meaning more in depth.
Hebrew word used on the following verses means strife, quarreling, scolding
Pr 21:19 Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.
Pr 25:24 It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Pr 26:21 As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife.
Pr 27:15 A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;
On this verse, Hebrew word means quarrels, controversies
Pr 21:9 Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Contentious word is mentioned five times in the Old Testament, and all of them are in the book of Proverbs.
On the New Testament; however, the word contentious is mentioned only one time in the book of 1 Corinthians.
The Merriam Webster dictionary describe it as follow:
1-as in aggressive
feeling or displaying eagerness to fight
2-as in controversial
“given to arguing”
a tiresomely contentious person who likes to argue for the sake of arguin
This moment of insight, brings us into a place of self evaluation. Are we contentious wives? Are we contentious with our children?
Some of the (top)synonyms of contentious for your reference are:
– aggressive
– militant
– hostile
– confrontational
– combative
– irritable
– ugly
– pugnacious
– assaultive
– belligerent
– acidic
– argumentative
According to 1 Corinthians 11:16 “But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.”
In other words, contentious shouldn’t be part of our culture and behavior. Each one of us, continue to become more like Jesus, and in this path, we take a moment to meditate on this as we evaluate ourselves.
It’s important to note the opposite of contentious.
According to Merriam Webster dictionary here are some (top) antonyms for your reference.
– peaceful
– peaceable
– nonaggressive pacific pleasant
– uncontentious
– friendly
– amiable
– conciliatory
– amicable
– cordial
– unwarlike
– benevolent
– gracious
Abba desires for every one of us, to be women/wives, men/husbands gracious to each other. Only Holy Spirit can help us on this journey to stay away from being contentious and becoming more peaceful and gracious.
Let’s repent individually for being contentious spouses in any way our form. Even if we feel like our behavior has not been this way. Let’s humble ourselves before God.
Now, let’s decree in Jesus name.
I decree that we are virtuous spouses, wives of noble character by and through the empowerment and leading of the Holy Spirit.
Let’s say out loud the following decrees based on Proverbs 21:19, 25:24, 26:21, 27:15, and 21:9.
1. I will strive to be peaceful and avoid contentious behavior, creating a harmonious environment.
2. I will cultivate a spirit of calmness and patience, steering clear of anger and strife.
3. I will foster relationships built on mutual respect and kindness, avoiding quarrels.
4. I will be mindful of my words and actions, ensuring they contribute to peace and unity.
5. I will continuously evaluate my behavior, choosing to act with grace and humility.
Some BONUS decrees based on Proverbs 31.
1. I will be virtuous and honorable in all my actions.
2. I will commit to diligent work and manage my household with wisdom and care.
3. I will provide and care for my family, ensuring their well-being.
4. I will extend my hand to the poor and needy, offering help and kindness.
5. I will speak with wisdom and teach kindness.
6. I will ensure the affairs of my household are well-managed, avoiding idleness.
7. I will be known for my strength, dignity, and preparedness for the future.
8. I will cultivate a reputation of good deeds, earning respect from others.
9. I will value inner beauty and godly character over outward appearances.
Hope you enjoy!
God bless you. Lorena Cox
